![]() ![]() Point out the potential failure paths, what not to do, but don’t tell them what to do. Let people learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others. You don’t want to have to reinvent the wheel every day. Have the person see it, describe it, make out a quality statement of what the results will look like, and by when they will be accomplished. Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how results, not methods. It involves clear, up-front mutual understanding and commitment regarding expectations in five areas:ĭesired results. It gives people a choice of method and makes them responsible for results. Transferring responsibility to other skilled and trained people enables you to give your energies to other high-leverage activities.Įffective delegation is focused on results instead of methods. ![]() Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival - to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.Įffectively delegating to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage activity there is. The essence of empathetic listening is not that you agree with someone it’s that you fully, deeply understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel. Let me tell you about my experience.”Įmpathetic listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives: They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand they listen with the intent to reply. (listening) Practice empathetic listening: But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first. We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. (principles of effective communication) Seek first to understand, then to be understood. You won’t make me an “offender for a word.” When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective. My communication may not be clear, but you’ll get my meaning anyway. ![]() (principles of effective communication) High trust radically improves communication. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal.” - Marilyn Ferguson Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. ![]() (influence) “No one can persuade another to change. When a child comes to them with a problem, instead of thinking, “Oh no! Not another problem!” their paradigm is, “Here is a great opportunity for me to really help my child and to invest in our relationship.” Parents become more willing, even excited, about deeply understanding and helping their children. When parents see their children’s problems as opportunities to build the relationship instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-child interaction. When relationships are strained and the air charged with emotion, and attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.īut to take the child alone, quietly, when the relationship is good and to discuss the teaching or the value seems to have much greater impact. There are times to teach and times not to teach: Different authors often talk about the same concepts under different names and organized in different structures. This allows me to compare and contrast lessons from different books. I took the parts that taught me something and ordered them by their general topic. My summary doesn’t follow the structure of the book. ![]()
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